Getting to Know Another Therapist

I definitely had hesitations about meeting with another therapist after failing so spectacularly with my first choice. It’s hard to to trust anyone, let alone a complete stranger. But I ventured on to the next therapist and took the leap. Of course, making that leap on a Thursday on my lunch break? Probably not a wise choice.

This time I tried to be more clear when I was of course asked, why are you at therapy? What’s with this question, anyway? Everyone should be at therapy. Maybe someone should ask me, why haven’t you been to therapy for the last ten years, you idiot?

So I tried to explain my great big crazy mess – which definitely ended in tears. For someone who has a hard time trusting strangers, something about a therapist’s office sure gets me in that vulnerable place.

I’ve started realizing that the only way I can make it through a conversation about my best friend’s death is to be as generic as possible. “Oh, my friend that passed away.” But anything in detail, using her name, talking about her and how wonderful she was and I’m ugly crying so fast.

I made it through our first session relatively unscathed. It went pretty well. I felt at ease with her and planned to go back – at lunch again, because apparently that’s when her availability is.

Going back to work after a therapy appointment was rough though. It’s really hard to be that vulnerable and then have to get back into a different brain space. Also, had to fix my makeup a little bit. My 31st year is definitely not going as expected, but at least I’m working on it.

Will You be my Therapist?

When you scrap your therapist and know you still need therapy, you’ve got to keep moving. I couldn’t let that setback let me sink further. So I went back to researching therapists. A friend told me about the different licenses/degrees people could have and told me to look for specific things when choosing a new person.

I happened to be on Facebook one day (let’s be real, I live on that app) and saw a friend that worked for a therapy group. So I started looking into them, everything sounded good, so I sent an email about how to make an appointment.

I picked a few people off the website based on their profiles, or I should say, I picked a few female therapists. For some reason, I have no desire to ever see a male doctor for anything. I’m sure male therapists are great. But I just don’t feel comfortable.

So then I had to wait for an email back from the new place, and then I was asked to make a phone call.

I hate talking on the phone.

It was hard – I just tried to portray why I was leaving one therapist and looking for another. I’m trying to get over the minor PTSD about discussing The Egg for two weeks in a row. She seemed normal. She made it seem like I wasn’t crazy for thinking I needed a new therapist. So I decided to make it happen and make an appointment.

Now I’m just dreading the next time I have to answer the question “Why are you at therapy?” Because I obviously answered it wrong last time. And everything is still a mess. ¬†And hey, can I ever get through that question without crying?